Letting go

2 years and 6 months since Aki was born... there have been so many changes in these 30 months. Some have been recorded in this blog rest just remain in memories.
Ever since he was a baby, Aki has been a bit of a Amma's boy. I am one of those hyper-possessive guilt-ridden working-mothers who like to do everything for their kids when they are around. I am a grandparents nightmare. Mornings my son is looked after by his grandparents but once I get home I absolutely forbid anyone from taking care of Aki. I guess its my way to making up for those lost moments in office. I feed him, play with him, bathe him and put him to sleep. It gets a bit frustrating at times but I would be lying if I said I didn't love it...Loved that special look that he gave me when I entered the room or the way he left everything when he heard my voice. I guess that is the pleasure of motherhood. You share that special bonding that no one else has..... untill they grow up. Yep this one change at 30 months has left me a bit sad and vulnerable .
Aki is now a lot more social. He likes to be the centre of attention. He now tries to hold conversations with friends who come over. His circle of close people is also increasing. So he wants to play with a lot more people not just me. There were days when I used to come back from office and he would literally throw himself into my arms.. hugging me close ..making sure i was back. Couple of days back I came back from office , he was busy with his toys. He gave me a glance and was back to his games. Then baba came back from work and he went rushing into his arms. He wanted to play some games with Baba. Baba and he play some rough and tough games .. pushing shoving fighting .. there was no place for Amma. I almost had tears in my eyes. That was the first time ever he had 'ignored' me. 10 minutes of play and he was back searching for 'Amma' .. Phew !!
He is also at that stage where he needs amma to vent his anger. So there he is perfectly happy and playing with grandparents/baba and then amma enters the room and wham what a change. He cries and wants to be carried. He shows me places where he was hurt millions of years ago. He gets stubborn and cries for everything. I leave the room and whoa its back to normal.
I guess every mom has been through this phase. the phase where your little darling is finally ready to let go of the apron strings even if its for a little while. I am proud of my son and the progress he makes, but dread the day he will finally let go of the strings forever.