Peace

'When will this pain go ? When will this heartache stop' thought Sunitha as she lay there looking at the little trickle going past her toes. Somedays the ache was so bad she would cry loudly to dull it. Today even that wasn't working. She had tried hard to analyse what had gone wrong. Life had started pretty much as usual. Happy family, good husband , a smart son. But something had gone wrong and she couldn't understand how and she was too tired to figure it out now. Seemed like a million reasons for her pain. Nikhil, the love of her life .. she could still remember those old days. He was such a romantic back then. Wooing her with flowers on her birthday and lovely cards. The diamond engagement ring and the chain. She could still feel a tingle thinking about the wedding. They seemed to happy and so full of life. They were in love. Where did that love go ? When did it die ? When did those sweet words turn to bitter fights ? When did those looks filled with love and lust turn to barbs of hatred. Sex had turned to an obligation and soon that too was forgotten. There used to be days when Nikhil couldn't keep his hands off her ... now he has control his urge to raise his hands and hit her.
Everything had changed. When did I change from the sweet loving daughter-in-law to this monster filled with venom and hatred ? She remembered her first tentative steps into Nikhil's house as a new bride. There was love and anticipation and excitement. His mother had looked lovingly at her and proclaimed she was the happiest mother-in-law in the world. Maybe I should ask how she feels now ? thought Sunitha. Her in-laws could hardly look at her in the face. They tried and avoided her .. especially in this new mood that she was in. The Raging Bull or rather Cow. The only reason they stayed together was for their grandson, the love of their life. Akhilesh the love of my life sighed Sunitha ..my life my blood ..she said as the trickle slowly gathered force. The thought of her son, Akhilesh, brought more pain ... Why does love cause so much pain ? Why won't it end ? Those pills that the doctor gave me don't seem to help anymore. Like any mother all she wanted was for her son to be happy. He needs someone better than me. It won't be long before those endearing eyes start to question her like the others. Won't be long before the total absolute love he has is slowly replaced by the hatred that everyone around her had. I am like a disease. I infect everyone with sorrow and hate. Hate that seems to be the only emotion she had now. That and noise seems to fill her world. So many noises so many voices shouting at her. Voices from the past and present. She couldn't tell them apart any more. Sunitha Sunitha where are you ? Where is my shaving kit ? She could hear Nikhil asking . Her ears were ringing. Laughter ..sound of laughter. That was Akhilesh playing with his grandparents. Bless him. Let him smile and be happy forever. The cooker was going off. Mom will take care of it. She takes care of everything. Bless her for it.
Sunitha Sunitha. The calls were getting more frantic ... as the trickle became a river ... swirling round her toes and gushing into the drain. The noises were slowly fading. Bang bang bang that was Nikhil at the door. Sunitha open the door. Right now. Sunitha. The bangings were getting more frantic.... but they were slowly fading into the background. Things were slowly getting quiet. She could feel nothing but peace. So this is peace ... this is oblivion .....finally I am free.