Random musings on a rainy day ...

Do u ever feel the pointlessness of stuff u do. Used to ask my mom how she used to go through mind numbing job of being a house wife. She kept a great house. Spotless clean and we were always looked after well. She fed us taught us. Wonder sometimes how she didn't turn mad. I have a job to keep me sane. She said she never thought so much or questioned anything. Not that she is not a strong personality. She is extremely strong person v opinionated and forceful but she just got on. I think that's how it was for everyone that generation. They just got on. Not questioning everything.
I am here looking at the kitchen thinking what's the point in even cleaning this mess. Come evening I will b cooking snacks and then dinner. With the masalas I use this fucking place will b a mess again and the sink will b full again. Kids will b throwing the cushions on the floor and probably kick the ball arnd. So my living room will b a mess. Bedroom is like a tornado struck  area.
Used to discuss travels with my cousin , who died while trekking in China. When we were kids we marked out places on a map. Places we wld visit. Just bit of fun. Looking back so much there to see. Well half of those places are now no go war zones. Like turkey and Syria. Ah want to roam the world. See explore immerse - angor wat, Mayan ruins, pyramids, Canadian forests , yellow stone national park, arctic Antarctic Himalayas African jungles New Zealand mountains wild off beat places cities with beautiful lights lil quaint towns and villages crumbling ruins majestic buildings ancient places modern architecture. Stand still watch breathe live laugh just live.
Ah I want to sit down have a coffee read a book listen to some music. Simple things in life. But I guess that's the deal with being an adult. With it comes commitments and responsibilities and can't just hide away behind a book and a cup of coffee , can't just run off to a different part of this world. Have to stand  , shake off this lethargy and plug this lil hole in the soul and carry on. That's life ... the carrying on .. the crumbling of old dreams the building of new ones the shifting of priorities as the sands of time shift the glimpse of a point in all this pointlessness.

London Weather

I wake up in the morning

thinking it will snow

I get into winter gear

Cos the weatherman says so

I walk out of the door

and its pelting me with rain

If the weather was as predicted

We would all go insane

The weather is never constant

Its here and then its gone

If ur freezing your butt off now

Soon u'll need ur thong

We got a little snow now

And the Amrus are in shame

They always get the freezing snow

And we get all the fame

;)

Something About Nothing: Stages of Life

Something About Nothing: Stages of Life

Stages of Life

A friend recently asked if single people had different worries than married people. Did they think differently ??which was better ?? This what I say:
You think u know life untill you meet friends and you realise there is so much more to it; you think you know love untill you meet your other half you know what it is to be loved; you think you know heaven untill you have a child and realise that you... have little bit of heaven right there in your arms. Each stage unique each stage wonderful each stage filled with hope expectations failures happiness sadness frustrations exhilarating moments. I would never exchange one for the other.

Single - fun, bit of parties, girly gossips, puppy crushes, bit of heart breaks, career worries, exam tensions, lots of laughter and deep carefree sleep. That's what I remember and miss the most -sleep. Then I met Yogesh and we started a whole new life together. It was fun, exciting, lots of laughter, lots of fights, responsibilities, career realignments. Marriage requires a lot of work and commitment and adjustments. But I know there is someone always there for me no matter how late it is at night. It's enduring and everlasting friendship. A friend who is with me forever.

And then came the kids. The first time I held them I knew what heaven was - holding an angel in my arms. Well then it turned to hell when they cried . Kids can take you to the deep depths of hell and to the very heights of heaven. Partying, skiing, sky diving, bungee jumping - nothing can give you that rush of adrenalin and pure joy like the happy face of your child full of love and adulation. I love going home knowing there are 2 pairs of happy arms waiting to hug me. Don't be fooled by this - its hard work and not for everyone. Requires patience , lots of love, and sheer madness to get u thru the days and those oh so long nights !!!
As a single lady I worried abt studies, career , money, shoes, clothes, food
As a wife I worry abt studies, career , money, shoes, clothes, food but fr both of us
As a mom I worry abt studies, career, money , shoes, clothes ,food but now for my kids
Thoughts and worries are the same just for others now.

I hate winters

I hate winters with its cold dreary night,
horrid winter bugs just lurking out of sight.
Those red runny noses and watery teary eyes,
those hot burning foreheads that are wrapped in ice !!!
All those classes missed , the office bosses pissed,
Colleagues frustrated, doctors irritated.
At the GP everyday,
have a look at my baby if u may,
it's viral is all they will say.
Will b 5 or may go just in a day !!
Weeks of total chaos and life goes into spiral
all bcos of this little bug that is 'Just Viral'.
I rant all about it while the boss wld like me to quit.
So that is why I hate these winters and all those horrid little bugs.

My first day at school.

I remember it clearly. The tension was too much. I couldn't sleep the night before. Was the bag packed - yes ? Were the shoes polished - yes ? Did I have the socks ready - yes ? Uniform - yes ? Hmmm should go back to sleep. But I just couldn't. Its the first day of school. How will the school be ? Will there be nice new friends to make ? What if no one likes me !! Will the teacher be good ? How will the settling in go ? Oh dear its already morning. Maybe its not such a good idea after all. We were all ready in time. Yes the whole family was coming after all its the first day. I squeezed dad's hand. He smiled reassuringly. We reached school. Hmmm everyone seems nice enough. Here comes the head teacher. Oh she seems nice, she even smiled at me. Phew ... time to make some new friends. Ok I am not disliked. Phew. Time to go to class. Oh the teacher is nice too. She smiled and talked sweetly to me. I look at dad and say I like school. I take my son's hand and say 'Ok sonny boy I will be right here waiting for you. Go ahead and enjoy.'. When he went smiling inside, I went and joined the moms I had just made friends with.

Sorry

22/05/2009
Sorry.Its such a useful word. Helps you get out of trouble, helps put things behind you. You don't need to pay for your mistakes. All you need to show is remorse.
The most horrific crimes in recent times, the inhumane abuse and murder of a 17 month old toddler, Baby Peter. Not at the hands of some unknown child killer, no it was at the hands of the mother who gave birth to him and her band of boy friends. The mother who should have been caring for him kicked him, hit him, brokes his bones and ultimately killed him. Yesterday she said she was 'Sorry' for the abuse !!! Sorry ? Is that all she could say ? An innocent defenceless baby bullied for perverse pleasure and she says Sorry ??? Thankfully she and the two perpeterators were sentenced to life and I hope in this case it means LIFE. Infact a life of abuse and suffering would be just.
Yesterday was also the turn of the Archbishop of Catholic church to aplogise for the abuse suffered by children in Ireland at the hands of its members. He said that the members who face up to their sins show courage. This incident should not overshadow the good work done by the members. I have to disagree. Firstly they didn't voluntarily face up to their actions, they were forced into it and secondly only a coward would abuse children who are in their care. Again a sorry as a balm over painful wounds. Sorry for scaring you for life, sorry for betraying your trust. No amount of good work can undo the harm done by these abuses. This is not a sin where you can be absolved by confession. People need to pay for it by being jailed. Put them on the sex offenders list.
That is what power does to some people. It corrupts them, it twists them and turns them into monsters and children are the most vulnerable of victims. They are helpless and powerless. They can't fight back as adults can. People don't realise that a generation of uncared unloved children lead to a generation of violent uncaring adults. Its not just a parents responsibility, but the responsibility of the entire community to care for its children. Keep these disgusting people off the streets. Take the case of James Bulger , a tiny toddler who was tortured and killed by two 10 year old boys who happened to bump into him in the supermarket. It was the most horrific case of child abuse for both for the victim and the killers, since the killers were in a way victims. They were victims of neglect and abuse at home. The killers (Jon Venables and Robert Thompson) were jailed but what about the parents who neglected them in the first place. This does not absolve the children of the crime, but weren't the killers parents equally to blame in this case ? Its a reflection of the society we have become, selfish, hateful and violent.
I worry about bringing up my kid in this horrid world